Magdalene Rose | The Conversation Ep. 59

Magdalene Rose is a Christian rock, metal and post-metal core artist, who boldly uses her music to voice the things most people are afraid to talk about. She sings openly about uncomfortable topics to remind anyone walking through dark times that there is always hope through Jesus.
In this episode, she opens up about how God set her free from mental health struggles. Plus, shares her heart on being canceled simply because of her style. You don't want to miss this episode!

Hosted by Roxanne Grace, The Conversation is an interview show discussing music, faith and issues of the day with influencers, artists, entertainers and more. 
 
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

I'm Roxanne Grace, the host of the conversation. Today I'm chatting with Christian hard rock and metal core singer Magdalen Rhodes. Magdalene is an artist who boldly uses her music to voice things most people are afraid to talk about. She thinks openly about uncomfortable topics to remind anyone walking through dark times that there's always hope through Jesus. In this episode, she opens up about how God set her free from mental health troubles. She carried her heart on being canceled by churches simply because of her style. What's up, girl? How are you?

SPEAKER_03 0:46

I am good. Thank you so much for having me today.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

I'm so excited. You're so awesome. I've been really anticipating this interview, so I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. I always start the interview out with some personality type questions. And I know I didn't prep you on this. I never do. So don't think too much about these questions. Just answer with whatever comes to your mind first. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

All right. First question: what's your favorite color? We're gonna start out easy.

SPEAKER_03 1:14

Favorite color is purple. It's been purple since like I was a child, and I've stood true to the loyalty.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Oh hey, oh, that's good. All right, what's your favorite food?

SPEAKER_03 1:25

Um, any type of Asian food is literally has my heart. So I don't know if there's a a favorite one out of that. Maybe like Korean food would be the one I would dial it into, but as a broad genre, definitely Asian food.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Sounds good to me. Uh, would you prefer, do you prefer a book or a movie?

SPEAKER_03 1:45

Oh my goodness, that's so tough because I'm like an avid reader, but then there are times when like the movies just take you in. But I feel like I I have to I have to say book because sometimes they're just extra details and you can like immerse yourself into the world a lot better. So I have to I have to go with book.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

I feel like I'm with you on that. I would I mean I I enjoy good movies, but a good book is true. You could just kind of get lost in a good book. I can't imagine you have a lot of time reading books, girl. You seem like you're always on tour.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

I'm trying to be better. I used to be like, I would go through book after book after book, and things have been so busy. I have a book with me, and it's been like months, and I haven't finished it. And I'm like, man, younger of you would be so disappointed.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

Totally, totally. You're like, I gotta get back into it. All right, tell us this will show us a lot about your personality. And hey, there's there's no judgment here. Do you put your clothes away right away, or do they live in your laundry basket for a while?

SPEAKER_03 2:40

Oh man, they they live in my suitcase for a while.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Oh, yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

Finally get the the uh motivation to wash them, and then they live in the laundry basket until I can finally pack for the next tour, and then I can avoid the terrible stuff of putting them off.

unknown 2:59

It's so bad.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

It's so real. This is such a real answer. And you know what? Yes, because you're exhausted from being on tour, the last thing you want to do is put all your laundry away and then pack it up again. No, that's a that's a reasonable answer for sure. All right, we're gonna this one's a little more serious. Uh Magdalene, I know that you hear the voice of the Lord often in so many different ways. You know, you read his word. But if you could hear the audible voice of God today, what question would you ask him? Oh, I know it's it's a heavy one.

SPEAKER_03 3:30

Yeah, it's a really heavy one. Um I think I don't know. Sometimes I feel like the biggest question I have for him is like, what do you see in me? Because I struggle a lot with insecurity. I struggle a lot with, you know, self-doubt. And I've been battling that since I was a teenager, and I feel like I'm winning more battles than I'm losing now. But I still do find myself at times, especially when things get really stressful or hard or it feels like things are coming at me and I don't really know what to do. Sometimes I'm like, God, like what do you see in me? Because I feel like I have no clue what I'm doing. And yeah, there are times when I do I I ask him that, and man, I've never heard an audible answer, but he's is pretty good about sending people into my life to then just speak life over me and encourage me in like ways that I haven't ever expressed, needing encouragement before. And I'm like, okay, God, I think I get it.

unknown 4:25

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Uh, he's so he's so good. Our God is so good. Okay, I love that answer. That's amazing. Let's switch gears, let's talk a little bit about music right now, but then we want to hear your story. We're gonna talk about so much. There's so many things I want to fit in this short amount of time that we have together. So you spent, I mean, a major chapter of your life with in uh GFM, which is gold, frankincense, and myrrh with your sisters, right?

SPEAKER_03 4:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Okay, and then you chose a solo path in 2022. Correct me if I'm wrong with the dates. Uh, what made you decide to go solo?

SPEAKER_03 4:58

Yeah, so it's kind of near the end of 2022, is when um we kind of made that decision. And you know, my sisters were feeling like God was calling them out of it, and they were like, I don't know if this is really where we're supposed to be anymore. And I was really kind of a late bloomer in that revelation, and I was like, What are you talking about? Like, this is what we're supposed to do, like I don't want to quit. And they were like, Well, you know, if if we're hearing from God, if this isn't the right thing, if like things are being revealed to us, you know, you can't really fight that, you know, we have to we have to walk into this new thing he's calling us into. And um, you know, there was a lot of anger there. There was a lot of, you know, just uh obviously a lot of loss kind of experience that experiencing that. And you know, I was angry with God because I didn't know what like why he was doing that. You know, I we were talking to people about him, you know, helping people, and it felt like we were doing what we were supposed to do. And so I was just really confused why God would then have us be done with that. And I was like, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do. Like, I don't think I'm done with music, but what does that look like without my sisters, without my family? Like I've never been anywhere without them, and I don't want to do anything without them. Like, what am I supposed to do? Like, God, why would you make me do this? And um, you know, I I had to cling to him through that whole process, and it was one of those things where it's like, you know, you you have a relationship with somebody and you're angry with them, but they're kind of all you got, and so you're like, I'm not happy, but I I know you have something for me, so I'm gonna keep talking to you, but like I don't know what else I'm supposed to say because I just really don't understand what's going on right now, and you know, God just continued to you know put up with my little tantrums, and like he was very patient with me, and um just continued to show me all of this new stuff that he had in store for me. And you know, my husband is really awesome. He gets to be in my band and support me and help me come up with really awesome ideas, and you know, God has brought two very close friends in our life to be in the band, and um our guitar player has a wife, and so now I have a girl best friend, and that's something I've struggled with for my entire life, and um, you know, he just had so much stuff set up in store for me and a lot of healing that could only be done on my own because it's you know, you know, self-revelation and a lot of identity issues, and none of that could have been tackled if I was still just identifying with my sisters, and that was my whole thing. Like, yeah, I didn't know who I was outside of my band, outside of my family. Like, I I didn't want to figure that out, and God was like, It's time, it's time for you to step into this calling of who I have made you to be, and you know, even aside from Maggie and Rose of the band, he's like, You are your own individual person, and it's time for you to learn who that person is. And it took a long time to like be comfortable and figure that out and learn all this stuff, but man, God is just so good, and you know, I've been able to come along beside my sisters as they go on that journey as well and see them become their own individual people and see them grow, and it's it's been really cool, um, even though it was really hard at first.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

You know, it's so easy for us to get used to doing something and we kind of find our identity in it, and then the Lord's like, No, your identity is in me. And then we have to go through that season of like, oh, that's right. Because we know that, but we absolutely put our identity our identity in in things we do, we do it all the time. But in hindsight, now looking back, you're probably really glad that you made that jump.

SPEAKER_03 8:39

Yeah, absolutely. And there's there's so much healing that I've been able to do. You know, I've I've been able to get married to my husband, which is really awesome. I've got a second family, and you know, I'm I've learned how to have relationships with other people outside of my family. You know, there's a lot of fear of people in general that I had, and I I didn't really trust many people. I had become very, very jaded and like just kind of closed off, and I had lost a lot of faith in people, and you know, I think God was able to use that moment, you know, in my life when it did really just kind of feel like me and him in this new territory to work on all of those parts of myself and be like, no, listen, we're gonna you took like this hot glue and super glue and smushed all these broken pieces together, and we're gonna take them all apart, and it's gonna hurt, but we're gonna put them back together the right way so your body and your mind and your soul can all operate the way that's supposed to.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Ah, you're absolutely right. Let's talk about your latest release, your debut album, The Heart That Bloomed After Death. By the way, it's kick butt. So good. Good job on that. You know, it was released last year. Well, there were two releases. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you had first were you released it on CD and vinyl formats July 29th last year, and then the digital streaming August 22nd. What made you decide to do the vinyl and the CDs first?

SPEAKER_03 10:01

Yeah, so that was a really cool idea. I saw another band do it um called A Day to Remember, and I had grown up listening to them and seeing them because they were from Florida, and I was like, oh my goodness, a band from Florida made it in the scene. That's so cool. And I saw them do it, and I was like, that's so cool. And it seems like people are really into collecting physical media again, and there's a lot of people my age and younger who never really got to do that, or they were kind of maybe their parents collected CDs for them and they were kind of on the outskirts of it. And I was like, I wonder if you know we're building this fan base if we kind of come alongside them and teach them the ropes of it a little bit. And you know, I started to get into CD collecting when it wasn't really popular anymore and it was kind of dying out, and I was like, this was so fun though. Like I now I have to go to Goodwill to find CDs, but like CD stores were everywhere originally, like when I was really, really young, and I kind of didn't get to experience the peak of that, and so I was like, okay, what if we just do the same thing and the album is only available if you get a CD or if you get a vinyl, and then people are forced to actually like collect things again and like enjoy music in a physical like experience, and yeah, it was really cool to be able to do that, and um, we had never sold that many anything before, let alone like like merch bundles. You know, we had told people like, oh, we'll make little friendship bracelets if people order them, and we expected like maybe 30 people at the most to buy stuff, and I sold out of like two entire merch orders, and me and Blaze were making friendship bracelets for like a week straight.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

And like I was like, man, we really, we really, I guess, should have overestimated ourselves because my fingers are so tired from tying these little knots.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

That is like the coolest thing ever. That's that's amazing. I mean, I mean, that's a good story, yeah. And I also think it's really cool too, Magdalene, that you have or had or have a CD collection. That's I did too. I'm older than you. I was like, I mean, I was buying the CDs when it was like a thing. And now to hear that, you know, somebody younger than me also made it a thing, which is so cool.

SPEAKER_03 12:13

Well, I think it's so awesome, you know. We like to have the little extra stuff. Like, that's the hard part about when you stream music, you don't get the little inserts and the lyric book that comes with it and the extra pictures. And so we're like, we're gonna do this and we're gonna show people that it's still cool to do this.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

Well, thank you for doing that. You know, hopefully that uh that can like kind of catch fire again because that's so cool. Yeah, I love I love hearing that. Let's talk a little bit about the heart behind the heart that bloomed after death. What does that album mean to you and what is the heart behind it?

SPEAKER_03 12:43

Yeah, it really is just the entire story of me like learning who I was. You know, when I was stepping into Madeline Rhodes, like I didn't have any clue who I was, what I wanted to say, if I even had anything to say. And, you know, my husband Blaze was like, hey, we should just share your story as we try to figure it out. Like, we'll let people in on the things that you come to the conclusion of, or the things that you know about yourself, and you know, we can talk about how God has worked in your life. And you know, I was like, I I I feel like as we're doing this, there's people who are really important to me in my life, and I'm learning life isn't just about me. And so I want to be able to share their stories if they're comfortable and um just highlight my life, and my life includes other people, and I want to be able to put the spotlight on other people and show people it doesn't have to be just about you all the time. And you know, God rescued me from an eating disorder, he rescued my friends from self-harm, he rescued some of my friends who had experienced childhood sexual abuse, you know. I was rescued from depression and suicidal ideation, and just not really having a sense of who I was and struggling with how to have a relationship with God and not really knowing where to start with that. You know, like I grew up in a Christian home, but I didn't really know how to make that relationship my own for a while because I did feel like I had imposter syndrome, you know, I didn't have this huge salvation moment, and so I was like, well, what is my salvation worth then? Like it's not as big a deal as these other people, and I I let myself believe that lie for so long, and so then it made me angry, and then I would not really talk to God because I was like, I don't really need him if I don't have this big story, I don't have this big struggle, and that kind of led me into a whole different line of problems, and so it kind of starts with coming back to God and be like, I don't I really have no clue where to start this conversation, but I know it needs to happen, and I know I need you I need you, Jesus. And I don't really know what to say, but I'm hoping that you're still listening and that you'll take me back. And then the album just really shows the transformation of where I came from and the like beauty God brought into my life, and the healing that he brought over my mind, and um you know, just setting me free from all of these mental struggles and you know, showing me that life doesn't have to be just about you. And so then the album book ends with a song that kind of takes some of the lyrics from the first song and switches them. So now it's like, Thank you, God, for finding me where I was, and I'm just in a place of gratitude, and I I know that I would not be here if it weren't for you, and all of these things that I thought that I could lean on, that I had put so much hope in, mean nothing compared to what you've done in my life, and they will never measure up to what God has done in my life, and so it's just kind of a moment of gratitude and saying, Look how far I have come because of you, Jesus, and like look at what you have done in my life, and you know, that that that person that I was really did have to die. That part of my heart had to die in order for me to truly heal and live and flourish. You know, I I couldn't find hope, I couldn't find joy if I was clinging on to that miserable, hurting part of me. You know, I had to be willing to let it go, and I had to be willing to want to move on and heal. And you know, it wasn't an easy process, and that's why a lot of our lyrics are very vulnerable, and sometimes you know, maybe people get a little bit uncomfortable or kind of like, oh, I can't believe she's talking about that. But I want people to know that you know you're not alone in this crazy life. Like things are real, things can get messed up sometimes, people can be evil, but there is still hope in Jesus. And when we talk about these things, there is help that's available then. You know, it's less scary to talk about them, and all of these sicknesses and the like outcomes of them, they breed in isolation. And so the more that we put light on them, and the more that we bring people into that process, and we bring Jesus into that process, the more healing can happen.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Wow. It's so true. It's so good. And you know, first of all, thank you for being so vulnerable and raw and real in your music. And it's exactly what so many people need. And and you know, here I have a question for you. Well, it's not really a question, I'm gonna ask you to do something. You've already answered this uh in so many ways. Uh but again, there's uh people listening right now. You even have a song, a single called Can You Fix Me? You know, it's it's a very raw question. To the person listening right now, can you just speak directly to them? The person that feels completely broken and unfixable, like they feel like they are in that state that you said God rescued you from. What would you say to that person right now, directly to them?

SPEAKER_03 17:49

Yeah, I would say the biggest thing is just to know that you aren't alone and that God has not abandoned you. And I know that it's really, really easy to feel like there is nothing that can pull you out of where you're at right now. And maybe you feel like you failed yourself, maybe you feel like you failed others, or you failed God, or you've been spun this lie that you will never be good enough or whatever, and that your faith is weak. But I promise you, God has not abandoned you, and he can use whatever he wants to use to put your broken heart back together. You know, there was a time when I was on medication and I feel like he was using that, and by the grace of God, I don't have to take medication anymore. Um, you know, he's healed my mind from that, but it was a very scary step I had to take. And a lot of my friends, unfortunately, haven't been healed from that, and they still do need medication, but they still have hope in Jesus in spite of that. And so I I would say don't lose hope, you know, keep fighting. Please reach out to somebody, but also don't try to put God and this healing thing in a box. Sometimes it looks really weird and really scary and completely out of the ordinary. But when you're on the other side of it, you'll see where God was the whole time.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

We're taking a break from the conversation for an oceanhouse music.com distribution 30 second spotlights. This week's spotlight is on a song titled Prodigal by Elios, featuring Sean Jonas. Here's a little taste. You had made a video and you had mentioned that a couple churches canceled because of your parents. And I just want to throw this in there. I've had the same thing happen, not exactly the same thing, but I've been judged many times in a lot of people's minds. I guess I don't look the way they think. I look probably too barby-ish than some people think I should look, you know. But I love that God gives us all unique styles and personalities, and you know, we're all different and we can all reach different people for his kingdom, you know. And um, but I I want I want to hear about your take on all that. What happened? How did it affect you? How did you respond?

SPEAKER_03 20:35

Yeah, um, so we've kind of been getting those calls every now and then, ever since I've been coming out on the road with Seventh-day Sumber. You know, they've gotten the calls for years, and it's kind of this this I guess thing you get used to, you know, being in like rock and metal music, like it's not widely accepted, especially in the church. And we know like what we signed up for. Um, but it seemed like this year like things had kind of ramped up and they were almost meaner than usual. And it wasn't just people being like, oh, I don't like the music, because we don't want anybody to like have to listen to music they don't like. So I'm not gonna force my band or on a show or anything. Like we're very used to either playing acoustic shows or playing shows with songs without screaming, or or sometimes we just sit out on shows because it's only like a worship night. So we know our like there's a time and place for everything. Um, but we had booked or were in the process of booking a rock tour with several other rock artists, and it just seemed like it was call after call of churches canceling because they didn't specifically want me on the tour, and you know, it wasn't because of the music, it was because of the way I dressed and the way I looked. And somebody on the board said that can't be Christian.

SPEAKER_00 21:54

Can't I can I stop right there? Sorry, I'm not trying to interrupt. What specifically though? Like what?

SPEAKER_03 22:01

That's the thing that's hard, you know. Some people didn't like that it was all black. Some people it was specifically, you know, I've heard the the lipstick is an issue to them, um, because it's a dark lipstick. But a lot of people, um, especially when everything just blew up out of nowhere, you know, there were were still like Christian Alice posting about it, and unfortunately, those seem to have the worst comments on them of people saying, like, this is too dark to be Christian, you know, the way she carries herself can't be Christian. And that's the hardest part because I feel like I I do try as hard as I can to make sure I'm still presenting myself in a modest way. Like I'm on stage with my husband, I'm not going to be flaunting my body out there. Like, I want to make sure I'm respectful because there are men at these shows, there are young boys at these shows, there are young girls at these shows, and I want to be somebody who's worthy of you know being a role model. And I don't want to just be up there doing whatever I want. Like there's a higher standard I feel like we're called to. And um, you know, it it wasn't even music or anything like that for these ones. And so I made a post because I was like, at this point, you know, what if these kids that are coming to these concerts look like me? Like, I don't want them to get turned away. And it's not about me or my band anymore, it's about these kids or adults getting the help that they need, and they can't because you're you don't think that they can be Christian or you don't want them in your congreg congregation, and that's really unbiblical. And you know, there have been stories that Seventh day has personally experienced where a church has done that and it was in the middle of a suicide epidemic, and that church lost several more kids, and you know, it's not because Seventh Day Slumber or Magdalene Rose is this like only chosen band, and we if if you don't bring us in, like bad things are gonna happen. That's not what we're saying. We just know certain people can only be reached with certain music, and when we cut off those floodlines to that music, especially when it is in a don't done in a Christian way, you know, a lot of times metal music can have a negative connotation. And so when we are trying to come in and change the narrative for these people and let them know that they are loved and let them know that this is a space to talk about it and there's healing in Jesus, when that gets cut off, you know, where are these people supposed to go to? And that was the point I was trying to make with that post. And you know, it it really took off and God really turned the situation completely around. You know, He's blessed us in so many areas now, and you know, so many people found out about who we were and wanted to support us. And I was getting messages from people who were brave enough to try church again because if they saw some like Christian goth emo girl stand up for you know Jesus in church, you know, maybe they could find a church that they belonged to as well. Really cool because one of the churches that canceled actually reached out and apologized and um just was really adamant about reconciling, and that was really, really awesome. And and I shared that as well because I feel like a lot of these times that doesn't get that part of the story doesn't get told. You know, it's just oh, this is the drama, this is the drama. And I was like, no, as Christians, we are we are called to reconcile and like how beautiful is this.

SPEAKER_00 25:20

That's all the time that we have with Christian metal chorus singer and songwriter Magdalene Rose. We hope this episode encouraged you today. You can find Magdalene Rose on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and X under Official Magdalene Rhodes. Her website is official magdalenrose.com. Thank you for tuning in. We'd love to hear from you. Or if you need prayer, email us anytime at dream the conversation at gmail.com.